After a long period of scientific work, I completed my training as a systemic family therapist at the IFW Munich in 2015 www.i-f-w.de/ and continually participate in further education concerning complex family sytems and trauma. I am working with complex family systems, in particular to prevent parent-child estrangement/alienation or to re-establish the bond with the estranged parents/alienated parent (re-unification) after alienation on the part of one parent.
The focus of my work is the family system in its uniqueness and with its individual capabilities for healing and strengthening. In a trusting relationship where you feel accepted and understood, we will analyze your concerns together and find ways for reconciliation and healing.
I work with systemic methods, and, if necessary also with behavioral approaches, taking into account the peculiarities of parent-child alienation. In this area, I am continuously educating myself – in collaboration with the Parent-Child Alienation project group in Germany EKE-Projektgruppe, the leading experts in London’s familyseparationclinic.com, as well as the international study group in this field pasg.info.
When children are young, give them roots, when they are older, give them wings.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
The core of my work is the individual approach. In the systemic family therapy approach, there is no formulaic, one-size-fits-all solution that everyone follows like a standardized fitness program. Everybody has experienced different needs, different desires and different injuries in her/his previous life. When all of these wishes, needs and old injuries come together in a couple relationship, plus the needs and wishes of one or more children, discrepancies are nothing special. As people say: “Under every roof is some pain”. The systemic approach knows no “right” or “wrong”. It shows who contributes what share to a situation. These parts are made visible and, if necessary, changes are worked out together to allow the family, relationship or work team to continue to live without conflict. Blaming makes no sense and leads mainly to escalation.
My goal is to work out individual solutions in each system that everyone can live with. You are the expert for your own system – I can help you to visualize it and find solutions.
The situation of some alienated mothers reminds me of Berthold Brecht’s classic “The Caucasian Chalk Circle”. In the dispute about the child, it is placed in a chalk circle. The foster mother and the birth mother are supposed to pull on it. But, since the true mother does not want to inflict pain on her child, she leaves the child to the other.
You may also think: “If my child does not want to see me, then I will withdraw – to leave the child in peace”. However, all experience show that you must not withdraw! We can find ways to re-establish healthy and appropriate contact with your child.
Coco is a very friendly Lagotto Romagnolo female dog. We originally trained her as a medical assistant dog to detect hypoglycaemia (low blood sugar levels). Because she learned in her training to be present in all activities, she has also shown another ability. Especially in the first therapy session, when tension can be present, she has proven to be an excellent “icebreaker” and everyone involved is able to relax quickly.
If you feel that I can help you, I look forward to hearing from you to arrange a first consultation.