My coaching, counseling and therapy motto is “Both parents for all children “. Children love both parents and identify with them. If one parent is constantly devalued or given a “bad” or “evil” label, these children will have difficulty developing self-confidence, because of the “bad” or “evil” part in them. As Leo Tolstoy expressed this in 1877 in the novel Anna Karenina:
All happy families are alike, each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way
Therefore there is no one-size-fits-all solution, neither in the prevention of difficulties nor in the re-establishment of parent-child contact. With the help of methods available, I will analyze the imbalance together with you in order to find feasible ways of restoring the balance. Then you will be able to continue or act again as parents for your children, even if your relationship as a couple should end irrevocably.
Systemic family therapy/consulting/coaching:
Everyone knows what is good for her/him – in other words: “To be in balance”. But, in everybody’s life, there are many events – sometimes bad experiences or unconscious influences, such as family beliefs and manipulations – that disturb this feeling of balance. Systemic therapy tries to make these disruptive factors visible and to find solutions for dealing better with them or resolving them completely.
Children have very creative ideas for keeping arguing parents together. Often, they have sudden stomach aches or headaches, begin wetting the bed, refuse to go to school, or may withdraw or react with rejection, in order to make parents talk to each other again about their child. Often the pediatrician confirms that the child is organically healthy. But, the stomach ache doesn’t stop, it is “needed”.
You are feeling very hurt? Has your partner cheated on you? Even mistreated you? You are not alone! We will find solutions together.
Looking back, do you notice that your partner has been trying to keep you away from your own family repeatedly? Take action before the situation gets worse! There are solutions.
You had a great relationship with your child until recently, but, suddenly your child no longer wants to see you or expresses strong feelings of rejection? In my experience, this does not just disappear as people say. Act carefully – to protect your children and your own emotional health – with everyone in mind.
You have no contact with your adult child? A letter, written entirely from the perspective of your child often helps with reconciliation. I can support you in writing this letter. It is really difficult to stay in the perspective of your child without drifting in your own pain and justifications. Good instructions you find in the second part of this video from Amy Baker https://www.youtube.com/
Estrangement: no contact between parent(s) and child(ren) is increasing: the silent epidemic. To be able to solve it, it is worth exploring. Perhaps the problem has been passed on for several generations? www.drjoshuacoleman.com
Do you keep arguing? Often, partners bring unresolved conflicts from their families of origin into a relationship. With systemic methods we can work out and address the causes together. A link to read more: youtube.com/watch
Would you like support, but neither your partner nor your children want it? Then come alone and take the first step. With systemic methods such as modelling your family on a “family board” or with “representatives in the room”, we bring all family members on board. Then we can start with first improvements and steps towards solution.
Please note!
Do your children or your partner not feel like going to “therapy”?
Then I will come to your place or we can just meet for a walk with my dog Coco.
A child needs your love most when it least deserves it.
Erma Bombeck
My goal is to work out solutions, sometimes with the help of a “family council”, so that all family members can live healthily.